Help Wanted: A Driver’s License Would Be Nice

Every year, sprinkler blowout season brings its share of surprises. Equipment problems, weather changes, scheduling challenges, and the occasional situation that makes you wonder whether you’re participating in a hidden-camera television show.

This year, we’ve added a new category.

Employment applications that leave you questioning the future of civilization.

As many of you know, we’ve been trying to hire additional experienced sprinkler blowout technicians. The qualifications are pretty straightforward. You need to know how to winterize sprinkler systems, have a vehicle capable of towing our equipment, and possess a valid driver’s license.

Nothing particularly unreasonable.

We’re not recruiting astronauts. Nobody needs to know how to perform brain surgery. And there’s no entrance examination involving advanced calculus.

We just need someone who knows sprinkler systems and can legally drive from one customer’s house to another.

You would think that would narrow the field to qualified applicants.

You would be wrong.

And Then There Was This Guy…

One applicant seemed interested in joining our little operation.

Unfortunately, there was a minor problem.

His driver’s license had expired.

We brought this to his attention, figuring that would pretty much settle the matter.

But apparently, we had underestimated the resourcefulness of our prospective employee.

He explained that it shouldn’t be a problem because…

HE WOULD BE DRIVING HIS OWN VEHICLE.

I had to read that one again.

Apparently, somewhere along the way, this gentleman developed the understanding that driver’s license requirements only apply when operating vehicles belonging to somebody else.

Who knew?

I’ve been driving for decades, and nobody ever told me about the Personal Vehicle Exemption to Motor Vehicle Laws.

Think of the possibilities!

Expired license? No problem. Just drive your own car!

Suspended license? Apparently, the same solution!

I’m beginning to wonder how many people have been unnecessarily standing in line at the DMV all these years.

But Wait. There’s More.

As part of the employment process, we also requested identification for the required I-9 paperwork.

He submitted an identification card.

That had expired in December 2025.

Here we are in November 2026.

I’d work Candid Camera right into the buildup. It makes the punchline even better.

So, to summarize, we had an applicant whose driver’s license had expired, who believed driving his own vehicle somehow solved that problem, and who submitted an identification card that had been expired for nearly eleven months.

At this point, I started looking around the office for hidden cameras.

For those of you old enough to remember the television show Candid Camera, you’ll recall that unsuspecting people were placed in ridiculous situations while hidden cameras recorded their reactions.

I was beginning to wonder whether the ghost of Allen Funt was hiding behind my filing cabinet, waiting to jump out and announce:

“SMILE! YOU’RE ON CANDID CAMERA!”

Unfortunately, no cameras. No Allen Funt. No television audience.

This was apparently a legitimate job application.

Somewhere in Boise, Idaho, Forrest Gump’s understudy is alive and well.

And apparently looking for work.

The Search Continues

We’re still looking for qualified help, although I’m beginning to think our employment advertisement needs a few additional qualifications.

Perhaps something like:

MUST POSSESS A VALID DRIVER’S LICENSE.

For clarification, this requirement applies regardless of who owns the vehicle.

Driving your own truck does not exempt you from Idaho traffic laws.

Expired identification is not improved by the passage of time.

And, just to cover all our bases:

Gravity remains in effect, water is still wet, and stop signs are not suggestions.

Meanwhile, our existing technicians continue doing what they do best: traveling around the Treasure Valley, winterizing sprinkler systems, and somehow managing to do it with valid driver’s licenses.

Imagine that.

Until tomorrow………

Thirty years in business, and we’re still learning things nobody should have to explain.

Today’s Routes

Eddie — Meridian 83642 with Leroy

W Willard St
W Santa Clara Dr
North Vineyards Avenue
East Fairview Avenue
North Penrith Place
E Grandburg Ct
East Presidential Drive
East Knobcone Drive
E Shepherd St
South Elkhound Avenue
East Blue Tick Street
East Time Zone Drive
East Dworshak Drive
East Girdner Drive
East Publisher Street
E Mackay Drive
S Jeblar Way
S Afleet Ave
E Pine Bluff Dr

Jesse — Boise 83709 with Orange Julius (OJ)

West Thor Drive
South Lunar Avenue
West Galactic Street
South Constellation Way
West Orbit Drive
South Solar Way
West Bright Star Street
South Solar Avenue
West Havana Drive
South Maverick Way
W Coho Dr
S Chinook Wy
West Old Country Court
W Colt Drive
South Cole Road
West Snohomish Street
S Chinook Ave