Sprinkler Blowouts, Patience, and the Fine Print Nobody Reads

WARNING: This article contains approximately six minutes of reading and may cause discomfort in individuals accustomed to checking boxes without reading what’s beside them.

Yesterday wasn’t quite the day we had planned.

Jesse had an unexpected family emergency and couldn’t work, leaving Eddie to hold down the fort. Eddie completed 10 sprinkler blowouts in Meridian, while Jesse’s Eagle route had to be postponed.

Today, we’re picking up the properties we missed yesterday and doing our best to keep everything moving forward.

We appreciate the customers who were understanding about the schedule change. Sometimes life throws a wrench into the machinery, and no matter how carefully we plan, there’s not much we can do about it.

Of course, if life is going to throw a wrench into something, I’d appreciate it choosing something other than the middle of sprinkler blowout season.

Meanwhile, Back at the Office…

Last Saturday, I wrote about a condition I’ve named Selective Instruction Blindness.

I thought perhaps bringing attention to this mysterious affliction might encourage a few people to read the information we provide before contacting us with questions.

Apparently, the article hasn’t made it into the medical journals yet.

Or perhaps nobody read it.

Either way, the condition continues to spread.

And while I can usually find something humorous in these situations, I have to admit that my patience is beginning to wear a little thin.

Here’s why.

When customers submit a sprinkler blowout request, they’re required to acknowledge and agree to several important conditions, including our Terms of Service. Each requirement has its own checkbox confirming their agreement.

The form cannot be submitted until all required boxes have been checked.

Our Terms of Service explain how scheduling works, what customers need to do before we arrive, how cancellations must be submitted, and a variety of other important policies.

This isn’t fine print hidden somewhere in the basement of our website.

It’s information we specifically ask people to read before requesting service.

And then there’s the scheduling calendar.

We’ve placed important information directly above it explaining how our scheduling process works. Unfortunately, some people seem to scroll straight to the calendar without reading a word above it, then contact us with questions that were already answered.

The calendar is there to show our scheduling progress. It is not an appointment calendar, and the dates shown are not guaranteed service dates.

Yet we continue receiving questions, complaints, and objections about policies that were explained before the customer submitted the form.

I’m beginning to wonder whether some people believe the checkbox means, “I acknowledge that words exist on this page.”

That’s not quite what we had in mind.

The Limits of Human Patience

I understand that nobody enjoys reading Terms of Service.

Most of us have clicked an agreement button at some point without studying every paragraph. I’m certainly not going to pretend I’ve read every software agreement ever placed in front of me.

But there’s a difference between skipping an agreement and accepting responsibility for that decision, and skipping an agreement and then becoming upset when its provisions apply.

We have hundreds of customers to serve, routes to organize, equipment to maintain, and a limited number of hours in each day.

Every time we have to stop and explain a policy that’s already in writing, that’s time we’re not spending getting another sprinkler system winterized.

And when the same questions come in repeatedly, sometimes accompanied by complaints about the very policies the customer agreed to, it gets frustrating.

We’re a small business. We don’t have a department of 50 people sitting around waiting to explain why a cancellation form is required or why we don’t schedule individual appointment times.

Most days, our customer service department consists of me, a computer, several monitors, a phone that never seems to stop, and a Coke Zero that’s getting warm while I answer questions.

I’ve considered hiring a receptionist, but I’m afraid the job description would have to include:

Must possess extraordinary patience, the ability to repeat the same sentence 400 times, and experience explaining that checking a box means you agreed to something.

Hazard pay might be necessary.

We’re Not Asking for Much

We’re not asking customers to memorize our Terms of Service, recite them backward, or pass a written examination.

We’re simply asking that they read the information before agreeing to it and follow the procedures they’ve accepted.

If something is unclear, we’re happy to clarify it.

But when the information is already there, clearly explained, and acknowledged during registration, it shouldn’t require a separate conversation every time.

Our procedures exist for a reason. They help us serve as many customers as possible before winter arrives, and they keep things fair and consistent for everyone.

One more reminder: At the bottom of every blog post, you’ll find links to our scheduling calendar and other helpful information. Those links are there for your convenience and can answer many of the questions we receive throughout the season. Please take a moment to use them before contacting us.

The overwhelming majority of our customers are cooperative, understanding, and a pleasure to work with. Those folks make a demanding season much easier, and we’re genuinely grateful for them.

As for the rest, I haven’t given up hope.

I’ve ordered an imaginary supply of patience, but apparently it’s on backorder.

The tracking information says:

“Delivery date unknown. Please refer to the Terms of Service.”

Naturally, I didn’t read them.

Stay warm, and we’ll keep working our way through the Treasure Valley.

Today’s Routes

Eddie — Eagle, with Blowzilla

East Mango Drive
West Peak Bello Street
West Steeple View Drive
North Pimlico Drive
West Floating Feather Road
North Lionbridge Place
West Timber Drive
West Conifer Drive
South Island Glenn Way
West River Trail Drive
East Woodlander Drive
South Lakemoor Way
South River Grove Way
Whitehaven Place
South Willow Grove Lane
South Eagle Brook Lane
East Joplin Lane
West Ashbourne Drive
West Stafford Drive

Jesse— Eagle, with Orange Julius (OJ)

North Echohawk Way
East Snocreek Drive
North Sevenoaks Avenue
North Wooddale Avenue
South Dorset Place
East Halsey Drive
East Courtland Drive
East Celia Court
East Jade Creek Lane
North Eagle Hills Way
East Thunderbird Court
East Knoll Drive
North Falling Water Way
North Echo Creek Place
North Trail Creek Way
North Trail Creek Lane
East Shadowwolf Drive
East Shadowband Street
North Shadowridge Avenue